Episode 930: GameStop Counterintelligence Division – Radio Free Nintendo

I freakin’ swear, the controller’s still busted.

Over at Radio Free Nintendo, we’re all kinda obsessed with Donkey Kong. It’s like our thing, rooted deep in our odd traditions from the long-forgotten Now Playing episodes. And now, I’m sitting here, brain spiraling, pondering if “The Big Ape” really fits Donkey Kong. My attention span’s got issues—so now we’re diving into ape anatomy according to The Center for Great Apes. Buckle up.

First off, hair vs. fur: Apparently, hair just keeps on growing while fur doesn’t. DK’s got that wild hairdo, so I’m checking that box. Fingernails instead of claws? He’s usually throwing fists, but yep, he’s got nails (I peeked at some art). Opposable thumbs? Again, see fists. Intelligent? For sure. Operates vehicles and rocks a tie—ever seen a marmot do that?

Then there’s prehensility. Still riding hard on the fist theme. Fingerprints? Not sure. Binocular vision? Well, with all that punching, he’s got depth perception down. Reduced sense of smell? No clue, honestly.

I think we’ve hit enough points to call DK an ape. Here’s a kicker from The Center for Great Apes: People mix up apes and monkeys a lot. Apes live longer, are bigger, and supposedly smarter. Oh, and monkeys have tails; apes don’t.

Cue Diddy Kong. Poor guy’s not an ape, he’s gonna croak way before DK. Ouch.

Switching gears, Donkey Kong Bananza had this big reveal on Wednesday. It was fifteen minutes of gameplay plus a plot twist—with adolescent Pauline tagging along with DK. That whole DK/Pauline dynamic? Been memed to eternity, so I’ll spare you. Just remember: Pauline’s technically an ape. Diddy’s not. Diddy’s got his ticket punched.

Okay, so DK’s just eyeing Pauline as the next sidekick after Diddy bites the dust.

James then took us on this chaotic ramble through Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time. So many game systems, so little coherence. Mine this, craft that—endless loop of making better gear until you collapse from exhaustion. Someone send help.

After that chaos, we definitely needed a breather. When we got back, Jon rattled on about his console hoard and GameStop’s trade offers. He tangled with GameStop’s InfoSec—shoutout to Special Agent Steve.

Greg updated us on Mario Kart World and F-Zero GX. Interesting twist: Switch 2’s got two big racing games focused on single-player modes. Mario Kart World’s massive. Guillaume and James gave Switch 2’s GameChat a whirl—F-Zero GX, Mario Kart World, and Fantasy Life i all in the mix. They also messed around with the Switch 2 Pro Controller.

We even attempted a Lister Mail segment—chaotically crafting marketing pitches for Mario Kart World’s corporations. Send us your crazy ideas.

Oh, one last bit—turns out calling DK “The Big Ape” is sort of a misnomer. Not exactly an alias like a cool spy name, but more a nickname. I’ll keep mixing up these title types till they toss me in the ground. I’m incorrigible.