Asus Teams Up with Microsoft to Launch First Xbox Gaming Handhelds: ROG Xbox Ally and Ally X

Sure thing, let’s dive right into this chaotic whirlpool:

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You ever have one of those moments where you’re not sure if something’s actually happening or if you’ve just imagined it? Well, guess what, it’s happening. Microsoft, the Xbox folks, they finally rolled out their very first handheld. Kind of. They buddied up with Asus, and boom! Here’s the ROG Xbox Ally and the ROG Xbox Ally X. I mean, what a name, right? They launched it at some Xbox Games Showcase — both have this whole new vibe going on with these massive grips, kinda like your typical Xbox controller. Oddly satisfying in a way.

Asus and Microsoft, they’ve cooked up this thing that’s like half ROG Ally, half Xbox gadget. It’s got textured bits, some impulse triggers for haptic feedback — don’t ask me what that is, it just sounds fancy, okay? So they’re raving about how comfy and ‘immersive’ these things are. Even though they remind me of a chunky battery, somehow thicker, heavier than the Steam Deck and the old Ally models. Did I mention the joysticks are like déjà vu? Except for this new Xbox button chilling near the left joystick. And its only job? Boom, instant Game Bar on your handheld. Apparently useful, but you be the judge.

And somewhere in the middle of this chaos – AMD’s got new processors or something. Two shiny models in their Ryzen Z2 lineup — it adds some kind of oomph to the new ROG Xbox Ally X, with CPUs, graphics cores, and a whack-load of AI poker chips. Or maybe just chips, who knows? Loads of RAM (what’s LPDDR5X-8000 even mean?) and a 1TB hard drive, alongside Wi-Fi and Bluetooth that sound important. The USB bit’s pretty much ‘as you were’ from last year, except one’s souped up to USB 4. Wonder how much juice that battery’s packing? 80Wh sounds like a lot, at least longer than a whisper from your handheld.

Oh, do you know about specs? Sorta like a crash course in techno-babble — the Ally’s the thriftier version, rocking an entry-level Ryzen 2 processor. Translated: it’s old-ish tech but gets the job done. A 7-inch display of HD goodness, well, no changes there. But really, does it need them? Those nits, refresh rates, and whatever VRR stands for — it’s impressive, or at least supposed to be.

Software-wise (did I just say software-wise?), these things boot right into Xbox mode — all dressed up in Windows 11 with some tweaks. Other launchers sneak in too, like Steam and Epic Games, because everyone likes options, right? An updated ROG Armoury Crate…thing…in there too. With widgets. Who doesn’t love widgets?

And hey, pricing? That’s a big shrug right now. But they’re hitting 28 lucky places including Oz (down under, mate!), Europe’s favorites, and the US. I’m guessing more, eventually. Just, you know, keep those game coins ready.

Anyway, that’s the gist of it from me, floating somewhere amidst the stream of consciousness — or chaos, you choose.

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Well, there you go. Quite the rollercoaster, wasn’t it?